Make your own free website on
Jaguar's Site
About Jaguar
Project Pictures
Kool Links
Project of the month
Contact Me
Pictures of People I happen to know
My Animals
My random projects
Music you should listen to... because I say so
My Writing and Artwork
My "I'm fucking depressed songs"
My Writing and Artwork

My sick demented creative side...

This is where I'm going to put some of the stuff I write and some of the stuff I draw, so i can let out my creative side. So yeah here it is.




[Letting Go]
I can't let you go/
Even though inside i know/
I need to leave/
The past behind/
There's something I need to find/
A place inside of me/ I'm so blind but/
Want clarity to see/
The future is the only thing that is/
In front of me/
Looking ahead is the only way/
To set myself free/ be it that/
The past is behind me now/
Be it that I can't fix it and/
I don't know how/ it's just/
Too hard to leave it in the past/
I can't let these memories last/
They blur me until I'm pushed under/
Way to fast/ I'm/

Holding on to something not there/
I wish I could pretend I don't care/
Without you I feel lost/ lost/
That must be the cost/
Exhausted, I want you to know/
I'm having touble letting you go/

I remember a time when I wouldn't/
Let you go/
No feelings afraid to show/
But things turned around so fast/
There was no way to make it last/
Hatred grew inside of me/
You were the last/
Person I wanted to see/
I couldn't let you go/ that I know/
The only thing left is to grow/
And so/
I'm leaving your memory behind/
I need to unwind/
I need to remind you/
I still find I'm/

Holding on to something not there/
I wish I could pretend I don't care/
Without you I feel lost/ lost/
That must be the cost/
Exhausted, I want you to know/
I'm having touble letting you go/

As I turn my back/
I look back to the tracks/
And traces of nostalgia I can't/
Quite grasp/
I bathe in the winds of feelings/
To the point where I wonder/
If I'm just dreaming/
Because it feels so real/
It feels so right/
That when I close my eyes at night/
I remember you letting go and so/
I've left my words and possibilites/
I've left my soul.../

[Adolesent Disapointment]
Another hopeless dreamer/
Another wasted day/
Another fantsy of mine/
Just to slip away/
Thoughts intertwining/
With memories of you/
Forcing myself to live again/
Is the only thing i can do/
People are so shallow/
But the world still seams to turn/
Another day passes by/
There's nothing left but to learn/

[Ambient Disengagement]
Constant obsessions/
Have me looking at my reflection/
The dection/ I'm not good enough/
Lack of energy, lack of will/
Something in me/ Makes me not real/
I hate me and the things in my head/
Thoughts enclosed in red/ I wish I was/
Able to move on and not think of you/
The things i do/ Just to get close/
Again the things I wish I had been/
Random lines convinse you of nothing/
Trying to remember/ Something comes back to me/
I can't pick myself off the floor/
The memory of the/ Door never opened/
Never changed/ Relationships astranged/
Still I need closure/ Tying up of ends/
Loss of trends plaguing me/
Things I still never see/ Never cease to be/
Surrounded by unimoprtant thoughts/
Striving to take control of me//

[Blurred Vision]

Roomfulls of regret
As I'm broke down on the floor
I can't explain this hurt inside
But I don't want it anymore
You call to me
Screaming out my name
I can't feel anything
I'm sure you feel the same
The darkened room around me
The walls are closing in
As the world attacks me
The rules begin to bend
Tears and cigarette ashes
Mix upon the floor
Every thought crashes down upon me
And I'm sure there will be more
As I sit here with my razor blade
Blood washes away the thoughts
The crushing down of suicide
The things I was never taught
I think of you as the blood rushes from me
I love you more than you know
In this pool of red


This hurts so bad/
Why do I have to go through it again/
In my home I feel like a stranger/
When its over it starts to begin again/
Everyday I let the razor get closer to the vein/
The cuts aren't so deep but they take away the pain/
I'm afraid I won't be able to stop/
Before my good sense begins to drop//

I can't take this life/
I wanna leave it all behind/
And pick up this knife//

I roam around here blind/
I don't want to see/
It's hard to be kind/
When I know you don't want me//

I can't take this/
You put it all on top of me/
I can't shake this/
In my life of debris/
I don't want this/
Your ignorance condensinding on me/
I won't allow this/
A lifetime of agony//

You drink to make it dissapear/
You don't realize I'm not here/
You don't notice you don't care//

[Untitled 2]

All the things I've been through
I wouldn't trade them for the world
All the scars I've lived through
Will always stay with me
All the times I felt like letting go
Now I know were worth it
All the times I spent alone
I wouldn't give away
And still I wake up every day
Glad to be alive again
Glad to be real
Glad to know
I was strong enough to make it through
And now I'm finally
Happy to be alive